from Basma AlKhateeb facebook wall

by Basma AlKhateeb(a well known iraqi civil society activists and had a very popular facebook page in which many iraqi academics ,blogers and politicians discuss life ,politics .art in Iraq )

I was tagged in this note by my friend on FB, Ahmed Amer from Mosul, the article is so important to share, just to reflect the sufferings of youth in Iraq, having no healthy or enough space to act normally, share emotions, or get involved and test their feelings, either marriage or shame, nothing in between, curbing young women and men to act normally, is becoming a trend of the community, institutions, security forces, and family, with more open relations and communications technology, a society that suffered isolation for three decades, may recover, all the hope lies with youth, thanks Ahmed for sharing the article…

Feruary 22nd,2010, by Adil Kamal, from Mosul, Iraq,

No one ever expected, for Ahmed, to carry a sign of two meters,written in bold “I’m mad about you”, and climb the thirty-meter tower is the water main tower, inside the Faculty of Education, where his beloved is a student, and put the banner at the highest point of it, declaring the story of his love to the world.
One of the rarest expressions of love in the city of Mosul, Ahmed, a student in the fourth year of the Faculty of Administration and the economy, it is not a message for the beloved, but an “uprising against the reservation of love in a city that is so strict,surely ” he bears the consequences of his actions ” both from the university, which was the scene of the story or the community in which I am part of it. ”

Ahmed sign stayed hanging in the tower on campus, he waited all days a-half-year examinations, for the results of his adventure, amid much sympathy from students at various colleges, and fears of the presidency of the University to initiate his dismissal.

A Professor at the Faculty of Arts, English Department, who requested anonymity, did not rule out that the University Presidency proceed to dismiss Ahmed after mid-year break, “especially when interpreted it as an infringement on the university campus, or to discredit the girl.”

The professor said, “religious fanaticism and social norms in the city of Mosul, curb viciously many young people,leave them with suppressed anger, and the Declaration on the relationship of love in this city is like a recognition of committing murder.”

Both sexes in Mosul and other Iraqi provinces, cannot deal freely with their emotions, there is a full control of family, society, institutions, and just appearing with a young girl in a public place, may cause harm to her reputation.

The Professor ,also said that Ahmed conduct may seem very normal in any other country, or even another city in Iraq, but in Mosul,the results may be “disastrous on both sides.”

Once the name of the girl is known- says professor – it will immediately transform into a gossip of the town, rumours circulating around her, and if it came to her family, perhaps they will force her to leave the study, and evolve to be worse, reluctance of anyone comes to her future, and in a few cases, could kill the girl out the so-called “honor.”

“Ahmed wanted from the revolution to deliver a message to a community that doesn’t tolerate their sons and daughters emotional.” Thus described Assem Ahmed Hassan, a colleague of Ahmed, exactly what had happened, and said with great enthusiasm, “details are not very important, it is important that there is courage in putting forward the issue, he did something that was not preceded by one here.”

Hammad Omar Hilal, a well-known Iraqi poet, found that Ahmed “re-echoes the classic romantic stories,novels and movies of mid and beginning of last century” and said that “it’s only a humanitarian gesture, appearing in Mosul, which has lived outside of urbanization during the past years.”

Researcher Hamid Abdul Wahab, of the Center for Islamic Research in Nineveh, spoke to the discussion by saying that “openness in Iraq after the invasion in 2003, and its association with the system of global communication, and the entry of Satellite to each house, internet, and mobile phones that display photos and video recordings, all these things did not penetrate the norms in Mosul for centuries, and still a lot of marriages take place, without a previous meeting between couples. ”

The custom in Mosul, for any suiter, to conduct a thorough investigation about the girl from school or university or place of work, asking her relatives and neighbors, to make sure there is no “moral impediments”. And extends the question to investigate the conduct of her parents and uncles.

Often we topple with disrupted marriage projects, because of gossip of one of the common friends,with referrence to a previous relationship of a young man with the target girl, or that he saw her one day with one of the guys, who was not from her relatives and so on, and the testimony can be visual or just a rumour that he heard.

So the girls deal with great caution when it comes to their hearts, mothers often act directing in this courset and start with “moral sessions” since childhood, in the words of the poet Omar Hamad Helal.

Lawyer Mohammed Yunus, said that courts records of the year 2009, show that 14000 of documented cases of marriage in the Family Court of the Court of Appeals for the District of Nineveh, by contrast, it was recorded that almost 3500 cases of divorce, which is very high, and a large number of these cases occur after a very short time of conclusion of the marriage contract, within less than one year.

he believes that the reason for this is the “lack of personal contact among couples prior to the marriage.” The duration of the engagement, usually reveal only small personal aspects, so the real test lies in married life itself, and it just happens that a husband or wife find that he or she is in big trouble, eventually they head to file claims on court, or the husband, immediately, declares divorce.

Writer and journalist Abdel Nasser al-Obeidi, consider Mosul, as “a city of no infrastructure of Love”, where lovers do not find a space to meet,whether restaurants, parks or cafes or libraries, and need often a lot of courage, just for the intention to go out in a date. “Even the security services would look at any couples going out, with suspicion, even though there is no law to prevent this, but its a norm practiced by the community,generation after another,” adds al-Obeidi also, that restrictions of the community community against the free expression of feelings of love among young people, is a major reason behind the most heinous crimes committed in Nineveh during the past years.

Behzad, the writer, tells us how a group of youngmen, killed their relative cousine in Bahzany town,north of Mosul, after they discovered she has a relationship with a young man from the same town: “beating her in the street, and smashed her head with stones under the eyes of the people.”

The incident was filmed and broadcast via the Internet,even more, young people uploaded the killing incident in their mobile phones, this murder,has raised fear and panic among the lovers, especially in areas dominated by tribal authority in place of law. But Ahmed did not seem afraid of or indifferent to similar pressures may be exercised by the community, and commented: “I did not do something outstanding, all I did was that I said to my beloved: Darling, am crazy about you .. my own way.

Iraqi Streets